Discrete Vector

Hellboy – I don’t care about the Rotten Tomato’s rating (79%), I found this movie severely disconnected. Not to mention bad acting, poor script, overused prosthetics. And what was that ending creature anyways? Rubberized clockwork? Several of the movies aspects were not clear. I guess only the fans of the comic was expected to watch the movie.

Blade Trinity – Let me not start on this one. No acting. Vampires. Explosions. Vampires. Bad acting…. oh well, you get the point. There goes Snipes’s career.

Ghost Rider – What in the world was Nicholas cage thinking? Must have been really desperate to act as a guy who sold his soul to Satan, rides a bike and whose head bursts into flames. To top it all off is a script that looks like it was written on the sets.

Dare Devil – Ben Affleck is clearly no superhero. There is no plot to speak of and the bad guys are… well… human. I heard they made an Elektra movie too. Thankfully I didn’t have to put myself through that ordeal.

Solaris – George Clooney’s ‘watch-the-paint-dry movie’. Some call it the next level of movie making. I choose to stay normal.

Mr & Mrs Smith – The Brangelina couple fails to light up the screen thanks to a pathetic script and bad direction.

I am Legend – Man develops a virus that, well, wipes out humanity from the face of the Earth (what else). The only surviving creatures are, by the law of movie making, blood thirsty zombies that roam about after sunset. Really ORIGINAL script! 28 weeks later, Dawn of the dead. Hello? George Romero has literally beaten this genre to death. Oh, Will Smith has a dog in the movie. I guess that counts for some originality. The movie isn’t bad actually but like I said how many times will you put up with the same Zombie plot.

[March 28 2009]

Moving right along…

AI (Artificial Intelligence): You wont believe that this movie was directed by the same guy who did Saving Private Ryan. Maybe Spielberg wrote the script when he was drunk. And what’s with Spielberg and aliens anyways? Does he have to have aliens in all his movies? May be its a disorder or something. Maybe he was kidnapped by aliens when he was a kid. He convinced them to let him go. In return he promised to give the aliens cameo roles in all his movies. (I think I spotted couple of them dressed as soldiers in the opening scene of Saving private Ryan). Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the crystal skull: more aliens!!

Jacob’s Ladder: Another Rotten Tomatoes favorite. I found the movie dark and pointless. Sure the concept was good but you can only stretch it so much you know.

This list will be updated. Stay tuned.

Alex